Bad Movie Remake

 

Hollywood doesn’t make a lot of original movies. It’s not for a lack of creative writers though. The movie industry has some incredibly talented writers in fact. Original content is scarce because most of the original movies that do get made, don’t succeed. Hundreds of movies are produced every year, which means thousands of scripts never get their chance to shine. Most movies these days are literary adaptations, franchises, or reboots/remakes.

One movie I would love to see rebooted/remade is the 1991 flop, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. It’s not a particularly good movie, but it does have some good qualities to it. The movie stars Mickey Rourke, Don Johnson, Daniel Baldwin, and Tom Sizemore. The basic plot as described by IMDB.Com is as follows:

[“Tough biker Harley and his no less tough cowboy friend Marlboro learn that an old friend of theirs is losing his bar, because a bank wants to build a new complex there and demands 2.5 million dollars for a new contract in advance. Harley and Marlboro decide to help him by robbing the corrupt bank. Unfortunately they rob the wrong safety transport and get ahold of a new synthetic drug, instead of money. Now they are targeted both by criminal bankers and killers of the drug mob.”]

Done right, this movie could be a success. Heist movies are typically cheap. They also can transcend age ratings. A good heist movie could be PG-13 or Rated R. Think about some of the best heist movies ever; Ocean’s Eleven, The Italian Job, Fast and Furious, etc. As a one-off or franchise a new version of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man could work. Get some popular lead actors, write some witty dialogue, have some memorable stunts and chases, include some beautiful women, and wrap it around an awesome soundtrack. BOOM! Rake in the cash.

Obviously if it was that easy, it would have been done by now. Perhaps the reason it hasn’t been repackaged though, is because the movie isn’t well known. It didn’t do well at the box office and it didn’t receive great ratings from critics. The only reason I know of the movie is because I watched it plenty of times as a child on VHS. I watched it so many times in fact that I remember the whole movie by heart even after not watching it in years. That is how I am able to see so much potential in it.

If Video Games Were Movies

 

I love movies and I love video games. That is why I want to combine my two favorite things. Yes, most video game movies are bad, but I am here to solve that. If video games took more liberties with their source material instead of attempting a direct adaptation, their movies would be much better. A movie is not a video game. Do not try to make it as such. Write the best movie while taking inspiration from the game.

It’s not uncommon for video game production budgets to be between $100 and $150 million these days. That’s about what a big budget movie costs before marketing and advertising. Since popular video games already have a following, here are some movies for them to mimic if they ever wanted to switch gears and see an even bigger return on investment.

Legend of Zelda – Lord of the Rings

-Since the failure of the Super Mario Brothers movie Nintendo has decided to stay out of the movie business. They have so many great properties though. I really wish they would reconsider. Imagine if a Legend of Zelda movie was done in the style of Lord of the Rings. It would be fantastic. Nintendo go call Peter Jackson now. NOW!

 

Dead Island – Dawn of the Dead

-This one is pretty easy since most zombie movies are the same. Most follow the formula of outbreak-survival-safety. Some more original movies for the genre are Life After Beth, Fido, Shaun of the Dead, and Warm Bodies. If a Dead Island movie does ever get off the ground I imagine they will use the traditional formula, as seen in Dawn of the Dead and other George A. Romero movies.

Dead Space – Alien

-Dead Space is considered one of the best horror games ever. Alien is considered one of the best horror movies ever. See where I’m going with this. If a Dead Space movie was filmed to pay homage to Alien it could be a big hit and start a great franchise. It may also revive Ridley Scott’s career.

Mass Effect – Guardians of the Galaxy

-Space is the new trend in Hollywood. Guardians of the Galaxy, Interstellar, and Gravity have all recently been in the theaters. A Mass Effect movie would be great if done as a space opera a la Star Wars or Guardians of the Galaxy. Just don’t take the source material too seriously. Have some fun with it.

Starcraft – Starship Troopers

-This was really the inspiration for this article. Every time I watch Starship Troopers I think of Starcraft. If there was an alien race added to the movie Blizzard might file a lawsuit. If Starship Troopers took itself more serious I could see this working really well. Blizzard, here’s your blueprint. After your Warcraft movie succeeds, get to work on this. You’re welcome.   

God of War – Clash of the Titans

-Here is another one that is eerily similar. If the main character in Clash of the Titans was named Kratos, it’d be a done deal. There have been some bad Greek mythology movies, such as, Troy and Alexander. This one has potential though. Who wouldn’t love to see Kratos slay Gods on the big screen?

Uncharted – Indian Jones

-To be fair, most action/adventure games borrow from Indian Jones. They all involve puzzles, travel, collection of artifacts, etc. When Nathan Drake does receive his movie adaptation, he should borrow even more from his predecessor. It would make for a very entertaining movie going experience.

 

 

A Stand-Alone Joker Movie Idea

Movie studios may soon start producing supervillain movies instead of superhero movies. We will see how everything works out in the Suicide Squad and Sinister Six movies. There are also rumors of a Venom/Carnage movie. If these succeed we may see a new trend in Hollywood. This brings me to my idea for a Joker stand-alone film. He’s the most iconic villain in comics and I think the movie studios could really do something original if they got into the supervillain movie business.

 

One complaint about the Marvel cinematic universe is their lack of compelling villains outside of Loki. Ultron may change this but it has yet to be seen. Imagine a cinematic universe that alternated between villain and hero movies. We’d have a whole movie to learn about a villain and how evil they truly are before the next movie where they battle the hero.

Here is a brief overview of how I would adapt the source material. Remember, movies, games, and television are all different mediums, so the storyline I’ve come up with is what I feel would work best for a movie. I imagine it being a Silence of the Lambs type horror movie. It would explain the Joker’s background and give the audience a chance to understand what events have created the character.

The Joker has been captured and put away in Arkham Asylum. He is being psychoanalyzed by Doctor Harleen Quinzel. This is before she becomes Harley Quinn. She is focusing on his life from childhood to the present. Everything is seen through flashbacks being described by the Joker. This version of the Joker would be craziest, most evil villain ever.

During his childhood years he murders his Mother and Father after being abused by them. He makes it look like he survived an assassination attempt by the mob. During his school years he is a loner, but still decides to use his intelligence to cause chaos. Later on, while working at a chemical waste factory the mob threatens to kill his pregnant girlfriend if he doesn’t help them obtain the company’s funds. It is during this situation that he first encounters Batman and ends up horribly disfigured by falling into some chemical waste. After awakening from the accident, he finds out the mob did kill his pregnant girlfriend. He blames Batman for ruining the heist and causing his disfigurement. He vows revenge on Batman, the mob, and Gotham.     

He becomes a criminal and slowly gains a following. He obtains a gang of his own. He also creates his own unique identity and people start to fear him. Not knowing where Batman is or who he is under the mask drives him crazy. He abducts a camera crew and stages a public event to try and draw Batman out. He says he is going to de-mask himself to show the world who he truly is and kill hostages at a bank if Batman doesn’t show. The Joker cuts off his face and starts wearing his skin as a mask.

Batman doesn’t show though. Commissioner Gordon shows up and the Gotham Police Department stops everything. He locks up the Joker in Arkham Asylum, which takes us to the present. No more flashbacks. At the end of the movie Doctor Harleen Quinzel feels sorry for the Joker. She helps him escape and eventually becomes his love interest Harley Quinn.

 

My idea for a Mega Man movie

I am a huge Mega Man fan. I played the games and watched the television show when I was a child. Even after all these years he still holds a special place in my heart. That is why I would love to see him on the big screen. Here is a brief overview of how I would adapt the source material. Remember, movies, games, and television are all different mediums, so the storyline I’ve come up with is what I feel would work best for a movie.

Below are just some plot points. If I was ever to write a script I’d make it very realistic and dark. Since not a lot of people are familiar with Mega Man this would be an origin story. It would have themes of friendship, revenge, and betrayal. I imagine it being a cross between Robocop and Iron Man.

The movie takes place in a dystopian future. There is crime and poverty everywhere to be seen. The movie starts off with two engineers who work for a robotics manufacturer. Their names are Doctor Thomas Light and Doctor Albert Wily. They have been co-workers and friends for quite some time.

One day while leaving work they are held up at gun point. Even after surrendering their possessions the criminals brutally beat them up. Thomas manages to call an ambulance before he passes out though. After Thomas and Wily awake they begin to wonder if the world can be saved or if things will always be as they are. After some time spent reflecting Thomas says they should use their genius to make a change. Albert agrees.

The next day they begin work on a robot to help protect people. They have some set-backs, but after a while their creation is complete. It is a robot programed to assist people in trouble. They test out their creation and it’s a success. Slowly things start to improve in their neighborhood. Even the media has taken notice.

Everything is going smoothly until Albert Wily spots the criminals who put him and Thomas in the hospital. He is filled with rage. Albert tells Thomas they should use their robot to get revenge. Thomas talks him out of this and decides the best course of action is to go to the police. While Thomas is away, Wily reconfigures their robot’s program. He instructs the robot to go kill the criminals.

While the robot is traveling to the criminals, a news crew spots him and decides to record his actions. They go live once they see the robot is killing humans. Thomas sees this on the television at the police station and rushes to the location. When he arrives he witnesses the police subduing the robot. Thomas instantly knows who is to blame.

Thomas confronts Albert and they come to blows. Their friendship is over. They go their separate ways. Thomas is interviewed about the malfunction. He lies to protect his old friend Albert. The police believe his story and he does no jail time. The robot is taken to a junk yard. Some time passes and things get worse once again. Without the robot roaming the neighborhood crime is rampant.

One day a new robot appears. It is violent though. It kills people and causes destruction. The police can’t stop this new robot. Thomas knows that Albert must have designed the robot himself. Seeing all the destruction he decides he needs to go get his old robot from the junk yard and repair it. As he is repairing the robot he realizes he will need some sort of advantage if he hopes to take out Albert’s robot. He decides to install an experimental human-like artificial intelligence in his robot. This would allow the robot to think like a living creature. When he is finished and the robot wakes up, he informs him of what is going on and what he must do.

The two robots have a battle that eventually sees Thomas’ robot winning. Upon winning Thomas’ robot rips out the program card from Albert’s robot. It allows him to use the same weapon he was just fighting against. Albert sees all of this and knows he must build something even more devastating if he wishes to defeat his old friend and get revenge on the city. The media sees Thomas’ new robot in action and dubs him Mega Man due to his human-like artificial intelligence.

The Punisher Needs Quentin Tarantino

Fan casting is extremely popular on Movie Pilot. As fans, we all have our wish list of actors to play certain roles. I’ve even seen some fan casting for certain directors to be attached to different projects. This is one of those fan casts.

Marvel movies have become the biggest box office draws in recent years. Some of their properties haven’t succeeded as planned though. Both Fantastic Four movies were critically panned. Same goes for some of the X-Men movies. Daredevil was a flop. Elektra was a flop. The Ghost Rider films weren’t good and The Punisher films were just as bad.

I’d like to talk about that last one though; The Punisher. I see the most potential in this property. I don’t think the character fits in the Marvel cinematic universe, but as a stand-alone film, I think he can succeed.

He’s essentially Keanu Reeves in John Wick or Denzel Washington in The Equalizer or Liam Neeson in Taken. He’s a one man wrecking crew. That should be easy to translate to film. Why hasn’t it though? I think Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson did fine in the role. Where the movies failed was everywhere else. Story, dialogue, direction, production, marketing, etc. have let the character down.

I think the perfect director to properly portray the character on screen would be Quentin Tarantino. He’s an admitted comic book fan. He almost directed a Luke Cage movie. He’s even admitted to having parts of his movies influenced by different comic book properties. The one thing holding him back is that he’d want to more or less create the character and storyline himself.

I say, let him do it. Give him The Punisher, Frank Castle, and let him reshape his origin story to best fit the big screen. The character is right up Quentin Tarantino’s alley. He’s an ultra-violent man seeking revenge. This sounds like a match made in Heaven to me. It’s not likely to ever happen, but a fan can dream right?

I love The Walking Dead

Full disclosure, I love The Walking Dead. Not everyone does though. I get it if zombies, blood, gore, horror, etc. are not your thing. Some people (mainly critics) claim it is not a good show though. That is where I draw the line. The Walking Dead is a great show.

The show has a great take on post-apocalyptic life. It gives a realistic take on how people would react to a world over run with zombies. The show is less about zombies and more about morals though. It gives a great “what if” to viewers. What if there were limited food and supplies? What if some people weren’t as friendly as others? What if you had to make decisions about life and death as a leader or follower? The show has so many facets to it.

I understand the criticisms; some of the acting isn’t great, the story repeats itself sometimes, it doesn’t follow the graphic novel exactly, some of the actions and dialogue aren’t believable, etc. I hear the concerns, but I don’t agree with them. The show has had many different cast members, show runners, producers, and directors. If the criticisms were warranted, someone would surely pick up on it.

The Walking Dead is about life. Life has its ups and downs. Life has its exciting and dull moments. Life has its good and bad. The show tries to address all facets of life, while still entertaining audiences. It deals with relationships of family and friends. It deals with love and loss. It deals with survival.

The show is currently on season 5. There is no reason to believe it won’t make it to 10+ seasons. Due to the structure of the show, that means criticisms can be addressed. Things can be improved. I feel as though people who don’t like the show are not catching onto all of the themes it possesses. It’s television. It’s acting. It’s a form of art. Things are not always as they appear. If you’re not a fan, that is okay. If you think the show is bad, look closer and analyze what’s happening. You may be surprised by what you see.

A Different Look At Losing

Does your team always seem to have an injury problem? Does your team always seem to draft or sign the wrong players? Does your team always lose? Most people blame these things on team management, coaches, or just bad luck. It may go much deeper though. You always hear about teams being celebrated or criticized for their coaching hires, trades, and free agent signings. Those don’t always produce winning results though. I firmly believe professional organizations need to hold their athletic training staff and scouting department more accountable. You never hear about a team making changes to the athletic training staff or scouting department. Think about how important those two are though.

The athletic training staff assists with injury prevention, injury recovery, medical history, etc. If this part of the team is inadequate, players will miss games and have shorter careers, which leads to losing in most cases. The scouting department is just as if not more important. They lend their voices to drafting players out of college and signing free agents from other teams. If their scouting reports are wrong, it leads to players being ineffective and being considered busts.

It’s easy to blame problems on the general manager, coaches, or players, but really look at a team’s problems. You’ll find that things are not always as they appear on the surface. Most losing franchises have an organizational problem. Everyone in the company needs to be evaluated.

NBA season opener thoughts 10/28

Last night I watched 2 of the 3 NBA season opener games. Here are some thoughts.

-Great win for the Spurs. Dallas will make the playoffs and normally plays them hard. They won without Kawhi Leonard and Tiago Splitter.

-I’m not sure Matt Bonner is an NBA player anymore. If the whole team is healthy I don’t think he gets any playing time.

-Speaking of still being in the NBA, how are Austin Daye and Charlie Villanueva still on rosters?

-It’s just one game, but Chandler Parsons looked bad. Without Dwight Howard inside to draw away defenders it will be interesting to see if he can create space and score on his own.

-Devin Harris on the other hand looked great. He has the potential to be a great scoring 6^th man. He could play a Jason Terry type role for them this season off the bench.

-The Rockets CRUSHED the Lakers. It wasn’t even close. The score says they won by 18, but it was a lot worse.

-Trevor Ariza is an upgrade over Chandler Parsons. He’s a better 3 point shooter and a better defender. Those two things will help the Rockets be better this season.

-I’m not sure who is going to score off the bench for them though.

-The Lakers are bad. VERY bad! This is the worst Lakers team I’ve ever seen.

-Julius Randle is likely out for the season, which sucks. I was really looking forward to watching him play.

-Kobe Bryant and Carlos Boozer are the only starters on the Lakers. Byron Scott needs to tinker with the other three positons to see who is going to play the best this season.

 

Washington Football Team

For 25 years I lived in Northern Virginia. That means I supported the Washington Redskins as my home town football team. I’m still close by in Maryland and follow the team, but I no longer support them. This is for two reasons; I don’t think Daniel Snyder is a good owner and I’m mature enough to realize the team name is racist. This isn’t an article about Daniel Snyder though, so I’ll skip over that. This is about the team name. Many people don’t view it as racist or demeaning. Those people are wrong. Some view the name as representing pride or tradition. Those people are also wrong. I didn’t always think of the team name as being bad. For most of my life I didn’t think about the team name at all. Once you reach a certain intelligence level though, you should be able to comprehend why the term “Redskin” is bad. As a society we should not be calling different ethnicities by the color of their skin. Walk around a crowded area and call out, “Hey, black skin”, “Hey, yellow skin”, “Hey, brown skin”, etc. Gauge people’s reactions. See what kind of looks you receive. If you are not willing to engage in this exercise, ask yourself why. It should become apparent that merely identifying people by the color of their skin is wrong. That is why I will not support my home town Washington Football Team until the name is changed.

 

A Ryan Reynolds Rant

Ryan Reynolds is a Hollywood star. He’s a big time celebrity. He’s famous for his good looks and physique. He’s also a talented actor. Why don’t his movies do better at the box office though? One could argue script, direction, or marketing are the reason for this. I believe it’s something else though. I think his popularity works against him. While he’s well known, I’m not sure he is well liked. It’s possible his brand of sarcastic acting doesn’t resonate with movie going fans. He’s been in 9 movies since 2010. Only 3 have performed well for him. 2 are animated and 1 was opposite fan favorite Denzel Washington. 33% success is not a good percentage in Hollywood. This is why I don’t think he should be cast as Deadpool, even though he probably will be.

We as fans want the movie to succeed, so we can see the character in other X-Men movies and sequels. Ryan Reynolds’ movies don’t tend to perform well. While it’s possible the character is bigger than the actor, I don’t think the movie studio should take that chance. This may be why he hasn’t been officially announced by the studio to be playing Deadpool yet. They are probably looking at other options. They don’t need a famous actor as much as they need a memorable voice who can deliver the lines of dialogue. This could be quite a few people. Deadpool should be wearing his mask most of the movie and a stunt man will likely perform all the action scenes. That means if you cast Ryan Reynolds, you primarily want his name on the marquee. That may scare away more fans than it brings in.